On Christmas Eve, Parliament Hill was wrapped in lights, looking like Canada’s biggest gingerbread house. A brass band was tuning up when suddenly —
“HELLO, HELLO!!!”
The crowd spun around. Striding across the snow in a leather jacket and Santa hat was Bono, yelling like he’d just spotted the last bus to Dublin.
“DROP THE DEBT, CANADA!” he bellowed, his voice echoing off the Peace Tower. “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!”
Out of the wings stepped Future Prime Minister Nelly Furtado, wrapped in a glittering red coat. She gave him the “I told you to use your indoor voice” look, but couldn’t help laughing.
“Bono,” she said, “this is supposed to be a Christmas concert, not a snowball fight with the IMF.”
Bono grinned. “Same thing, Nelly. Same thing.”
The band struck up a funky holiday beat, and the two launched into a duet:
- Bono belting out debt-cancelling demands like they were verses of O Come, All Ye Faithful.
- Nelly weaving in smooth harmonies about global justice, maple syrup, and how Canada can lead the charge.
By the second chorus, the crowd was chanting “DROP THE DEBT!” louder than the bells on Parliament Hill. Even the Finance Minister, lurking by the hot chocolate stand, was nodding along, looking slightly worried about the budget.
When the last note rang out, Bono threw his arm around Nelly and declared, “Merry Christmas, Canada! Now let’s go bankrupt some colonial-era interest rates!”
Snow fell, the crowd roared, and somewhere in a bank boardroom, a CEO dropped his eggnog.
