Post by Dr. Luka Kovac on NellyFan.org
Title: What Sinead Needed Most โ A Doctor’s Reflection on the Essentials of Life
Two years have passed since the tragic loss of Sinรฉad O’Connor, a voice that pierced the silence and a soul that cried out for justice and mercy. As a physician and a man of faith, I often reflect not only on physical healing but on what sustains the human spirit โ especially in a world as harsh and unforgiving as the one that so often bruised Sinรฉadโs tender heart.
There is a Croatian proverb that says, “Bog je prvo stvorio ฤovjeka, a onda mu dao dom i ลพenu da preลพivi.” โ โGod first made man, then gave him a home and a wife so he could survive.โ Whether you interpret that literally or symbolically, the message is clear: we are not meant to walk this world alone, unanchored.
I want to speak not just as a doctor, but as a fellow survivor of trauma. Here are the necessities of life as Iโve come to understand them โ the things Sinรฉad needed more than fame, applause, or rebellion. The things many of us need to be whole again.
- Food
Not just calories, but nourishment. Sinรฉadโs struggle with medications, fast fixes, and industry stress no doubt affected her diet. The healing foods of our ancestors โ whole grains, fermented vegetables, bone broths, and clean water โ are more essential than any antidepressant. Nutritional psychiatry is no longer a fringe idea. Healing begins in the gut. - Shelter
A safe place. Not just a house, but a home. Sinรฉad had many addresses, but perhaps no sanctuary. A space to pray, to cry, to laugh without judgment. Trauma survivors often become wanderers, running from memory and self. But stability is medicine. - Clothing
This means dignity. Self-respect. Modesty not as repression, but as armor against objectification. Sinรฉad rejected the exploitation of womenโs bodies, but she also lived exposed โ emotionally naked in a cold world. We need to clothe ourselves in ritual, purpose, and yes โ actual warmth. - A Wife (or Husband)
Call it a spouse, a partner, a counterpart. We need someone to mirror our humanity, to correct us lovingly, to celebrate us quietly. I donโt speak here of lust or fantasy, but covenant. Sinรฉad needed someone who would not flee at the first sign of her sorrow. - Children
Not just biologically, but spiritually. A legacy. A reason to mature. Sinรฉad loved her children fiercely, but losing her son Shane broke her beyond repair. Parents should not bury their children. No amount of grief counseling can erase that wound. But had there been stronger community, extended family, perhaps she could have carried on. - God
Finally โ and foremost โ God. Not just as a concept, but as an abiding presence. I watched Sinรฉad wrestle with religion. She fought against corruption and hypocrisy, yet longed deeply for the Divine. Had she found peace in the Person of God, not just the institution, she might have survived the long dark night of her soul.
I am not here to judge her โ God knows I have seen despair in my own life. But I do believe that if we had surrounded Sinรฉad with these six pillars โ food, shelter, clothing, spouse, children, and God โ she might still be singing.
Let her life be a wake-up call. Not just to reform mental health treatment, but to remember what truly sustains the soul.
May her memory be eternal,
Dr. Luka Kovaฤ
Physician, Father, Survivor
NellyFan.org Contributor
